So, last night I met with my trainer/life coach/sister in law. We sat down and discussed a lot of my hangups. Meaning, things that have nothing to do with diet or exercise that are getting in the way of my being successful. I'm currently working two jobs, dealing with medical issues, as well as 2/3 kids being in therapy...one for Asperger's and the other developmental issues. So my sleep is little and my stress level is through the roof. With the second job, I've had no time/energy to work out anymore. Because I'm not sleeping, I'm eating to stay awake and drinking caffeine constantly. I'm sabotaging myself. I realize that through all of this, I'm not taking care of myself and I'm not allowing God to work in this situation. I'm taking all of this load on myself. I'm not allowing God to teach me to have more faith and to fully rely on him. God has always taken care of me and my family and there is no reason why He would ever stop. So, I'm letting go of one of my jobs to get the old me back. The "me" that was happy, ready to do whatever God willed for my life, and to get myself in shape to do whatever God would have me to do. So, lesson learned. It's not always about the actual diet and exercise. Sometimes, well in my case a lot of times, it's the unresolved issues in your life that are holding you back. I can't fix the outward until I fix the inward. With God's help, we will beat this together. It's gonna take a lot of time, hard work, and soul searching. Loving that I'm starting fresh....with a better outlook.
